The secret to conception no one talks about

By Brett Nethell

The secret to conception no one talks about The secret to conception no one talks about

Infertility rates are climbing, yet most conversations about conception still revolve almost entirely around women's health. While egg quality and the uterine environment matter tremendously, there's a critical piece of the fertility puzzle that's been overlooked for far too long... the man's health and the quality of his sperm.

The truth is, conception doesn't start when sperm meets egg. It starts months earlier, in the bodies of both partners, as cells develop and prepare for the monumental task of creating new life.

The father's influence

Most people assume that if a man can conceive, his contribution to the baby's health ends there. But research shows something far more profound. sperm carries not just DNA, but epigenetic information that influences how genes are expressed in the developing baby.

Think of epigenetics as instructions for which genes get turned on or off. If a father's body is dealing with inflammation, nutrient depletion, or toxin overload at the time sperm is developing, those stress signals can be transmitted to the embryo. This affects everything from implantation success to long-term health outcomes.

Healthy, high-quality sperm creates the foundation for stronger embryo development, easier implantation, easier pregnancy, lower risk of miscarriage, and healthier genetic expression in the baby. But sperm quality isn't just about count. It's about structure, motility, and most importantly, DNA integrity.

Oxidative stress from seed oils, plastics, poor nutrition, and mineral deficiencies damages sperm DNA. This doesn't just make conception harder, it can affect the baby's lifelong health trajectory.

Here's the empowering part, sperm takes approximately 72 days to fully develop. That means the three months before conception are a critical window where a man's lifestyle choices literally build the genetic foundation for the next generation.

The mother's influence

While sperm quality sets the stage, the woman's body provides the entire environment where new life grows. Conception happens when her body signals that it's safe, nourished, and ready to sustain pregnancy.

The body spends roughly 90 days maturing an egg that could become a future baby. During this maturation period, every factor, stress levels, nutritional status, sleep quality, toxin exposure shapes egg quality. And egg quality directly influences conception rates, implantation success, miscarriage risk, pregnancy complications, and the baby's resilience.

Her body becomes your baby's first home. If that environment is inflamed, undernourished, or chronically stressed, the embryo develops in those same conditions. But when hormones are balanced, the liver efficiently clears excess estrogen, the gut is healthy, and mineral stores are robust, the body can thrive through conception, pregnancy, and beyond.

This is why preconception care isn't just about "getting pregnant." It's about building the foundation for a vibrant, healthy pregnancy and a thriving baby, starting months before conception even occurs.

How modern life depletes fertility for both

Here's what a typical day looks like for many couples trying to conceive:

She wakes up exhausted despite eight hours in bed, grabs an oat latte, and rushes to her high-stress job. Her lunch comes in a plastic container, microwaved at her desk between back-to-back meetings. Dinner is quick, maybe grilled chicken with microwaved rice. She's proud of her discipline, she trains hard at the gym seven days a week, avoids red meat and butter because they're "bad for you," and uses all the right skincare products to stay looking young.

He starts his morning with cereal and oat milk, throws on his usual synthetic workout gear under his work clothes, and heads to the office. Lunch is a processed sandwich, wrapped in plastic. After work, he hits the gym hard, he's training for a marathon. Dinner is lean protein and rice because he's trying to stay fit. He drinks from plastic water bottles throughout the day and uses conventional body wash and deodorant without thinking twice.

They're doing everything "right" according to mainstream health advice. So why isn't conception happening? The answer lies in what modern life has stripped away and what it's added in.

The 4 things to be most mindful of when trying to conceive

1. Stop fearing cholesterol

For decades, we've been told that cholesterol is the enemy. So she avoids egg yolks, he drinks oat milk, and both reach for lean proteins. But here's what nobody mentions... cholesterol is literally the raw material your body uses to build sex hormones, testosterone, progesterone. Every single one.

When you starve your body of dietary cholesterol and healthy fats, you're starving your hormone production. His testosterone drops. Her progesterone struggles. Suddenly, the very building blocks of fertility are missing, and they don't even know it. 

The irony? In trying to be "healthy," they've made conception harder.

Bring back cholesterol-rich whole foods like eggs, organ meats, butter, and full-fat dairy. These are the raw materials your body needs to make hormones naturally. Your grandparents ate them without guilt, and fertility rates reflected it.

2. Avoid environmental toxins, where you can

His polyester boxer briefs might seem like a small detail, but synthetic fabrics such as polyester are lowering sperm production. Sperm develop best in a slightly cooler environment, which is why testicles hang outside the body in the first place. Those polyester pants he wears all day? They're creating a sauna effect that can damage sperm quality over time, as well as leaching chemicals through the thinnest skin part of the body.

Meanwhile, both of them are surrounded by endocrine disruptors they don't even see. The plastic containers they microwave lunch in. The nonstick pans. The conventional cleaning products under the sink. The fragranced laundry detergent. The pesticides on non-organic produce. Every single one of these products contains chemicals that mimic or block hormones in the body, scrambling the delicate fertility signals that need to function perfectly for conception to occur.

While it’s impossible to entirely avoid environmental toxins, and we shouldn’t live in fear, we can be intentional about reducing exposure. Small, mindful swaps add up over time. Here are some guides you may find helpful:

3. Replenish nutrient deficiencies

Magnesium, zinc, and copper are the silent drivers of fertility, supporting hormone balance, egg quality, sperm motility, and stress regulation. Yet modern soil is depleted, processed foods stripped, and many people now avoid the very foods richest in these minerals.

Butter, organ meats, red meat, and eggs are fertility medicine precisely because they contain these minerals.

  • Oysters and red meat for zinc
  • Sea salt and magnesium-rich water for electrolyte balance
  • Eggs and organ meats for bioavailable copper and B vitamins

For a deeper dive, check out:

4. Don't overfatigue the body

She's proud of her intense workout routine. He's training for races and doing ice baths because he read they're good for recovery.

But here's the uncomfortable truth... chronic stress, even stress that looks like "healthy" habits, actively depletes the hormones needed for fertility.

For her, stress converts progesterone precursors into cortisol instead. Her body is begins choosing survival mode over reproduction mode. That progesterone she needs to build a healthy uterine lining and sustain early pregnancy? It's being cannibalised to make stress hormones. Extreme endurance training, chronic under-eating, overworking, and even regular ice plunges can all signal to her body that now is not a safe time to grow life.

For him, chronic stress and overtraining suppress testosterone. His body thinks it's under threat, so it diverts resources away from reproduction and toward survival. Fewer, slower, weaker sperm are the result.

The body conceives best when it feels safe, an in an environment of abundance.

  • Swap chronic cardio for restorative movement, walking, strength training, and sunlight.
  • Prioritise sleep and deep relaxation.

  • Support progesterone and testosterone naturally by lowering stress, eating enough, and allowing recovery.

Struggle to let go? Read Our guide to stress release

When both partners invest in preconception health, they're not just increasing their chances of getting pregnant. They're investing in the lifelong health of their future child, giving that baby the best possible genetic and epigenetic start.

And while that might sound like pressure, it isn’t. Not everyone is given the opportunity for a perfect head start, and that’s okay. What matters is knowing that so much is within your control. Every nutrient you replenish, every toxin you remove, every night of rest, it all speaks life into the body that’s preparing to create another.

Published on: October 11, 2025

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