Let’s start here: Stress isn’t the villain.
It’s a biological response designed to protect you. A surge of alertness. A burst of energy. A system scan for threats. The issue isn’t stress itself, it’s the constancy of it. The background noise of inboxes, deadlines, processed food, blue light, and unresolved trauma.
You may have seen the trend of 'unfortunately my body can't tell the difference between being chased by a predator, and ... ', but it really is true. Our amygdala, the brain’s threat centre, truly doesn’t discern between emotional, physical, or perceived danger. And if you never send it the all clear, the body stays braced for impact.
We weren’t meant to live in permanent fight-or-flight, and the modern diseases that manifest are a show of it. We were meant to pulse in and out of it. Hunt, gather, rest. Work, restore. Expand, exhale. Modern life forgot the exhale.
But you can bring it back. Not through numbing or bypassing, but through gently nourishing the systems that carry you, so they can return to calm naturally.
Here’s our guide how:
Feeding your calm
In the body, stress eats first.
Before we can relax, our cells need to feel safe, and safety is built on micronutrients. In ancestral cultures, calming the nervous system didn’t come from a bottle but from the slow ritual of eating food that signalled abundance: organ meats, broths, yolks, wild greens, and mineral-rich waters.
Today, we can trace that same nourishment back to a handful of key nutrients that quietly regulate the brain, support hormone balance, and buffer the adrenal glands during times of strain.
- Choline-rich foods (like liver and egg yolks) feed acetylcholine, the neurotransmitter of rest and digest.
- Saturated fats and cholesterol build the myelin sheaths around nerves, allowing thoughts and signals to flow calmly and clearly.
- Glycine, found in bones, skin, and connective tissue is the nervous system’s whisper, slowing heart rate and body tension.
- And B vitamins are the unsung conductors of neurotransmitter balance and energy production, worn thin by constant stress.
In short: to support your nerves, you must feed them. Not with stimulants or synthetic quick-fixes, but with real, bioavailable food.
Understanding the biology of stress
To understand stress, we need to visit the brain. More specifically, the HPA axis, a hormonal chain reaction between your hypothalamus, pituitary, and adrenal glands.
In survival mode, this axis is your lifeline. The moment your brain senses danger, it floods the body with adrenaline and cortisol, mobilising glucose and sharpening your senses. This is brilliant, for escaping a lion.
But in modern life, the lions are emails, debt letters, and scrolling at midnight. Our bodies respond the same way.
We end up with a constantly revving stress engine and repeated HPA axis activation. Over time, this takes a serious toll. Research shows that chronic stress (ongoing high cortisol) contributes to high blood pressure, artery-clogging plaques, brain changes, and increased anxiety, depression, and addiction risk. It can dysregulate the immune system and metabolism as well. In fact, persistent cortisol elevation literally reshapes parts of the brain, for example, it can cause the hippocampus (critical for memory and mood regulation) to atrophy and weaken synaptic connections.
To restore balance, the key is to create a state of safety, not just emotionally, but biologically.
That’s where light, warmth, breath, and grounding come in.
Light as medicine
Notice how you feel in a firelit restaurant.
The glow is warm, flickering, golden. Your shoulders drop. Conversation softens. Something ancient in you exhales.
Now think of a fluorescent-lit office or a kitchen at midnight with every overhead light blazing, there’s tension, an invisible buzzing in the background, and a restlessness that’s hard to shake.
That’s not in your head. That’s your nervous system responding to light.
Light is one of the most powerful environmental signals your body receives, and it speaks directly to your HPA axis and your circadian rhythm, the internal 24-hour clock that regulates everything from cortisol to digestion to melatonin.
In ancestral life, light came in two forms: the bright, full-spectrum light of the sun by day, and the gentle, amber flicker of fire by night. This natural contrast told the brain when to be alert and when to unwind. Today, many of us live in the reverse: dim artificial light indoors all day, followed by intense blue-toned screens at night. The result? Cortisol rises when it should fall. Melatonin is suppressed. Sleep becomes shallow, moods grow brittle, and our stress resilience unravels.
The recalibration begins with rhythm. Step outside within 30 minutes of waking. Even five to ten minutes of morning sunlight acts like a master reset for your entire circadian system. You’ll feel it: sharper focus, more stable energy, and a calmer descent into sleep that night. Neuroscientists now confirm what our ancestors knew intuitively, the sun is medicine.
In the evenings, flip the script. Dim the lights, switch to warm bulbs, light a candle at the dinner table. Your nervous system understands this language. It says: the day is done. You are safe now. Wind down. Consistency matters too. Wake and sleep at roughly the same times each day, even on weekends. Sleep in a cool, dark room, and stop eating at least a few hours before bed. These subtle cues, light, dark, temperature, food timing, are known as zeitgebers, or “time-givers,” and they help your body land in the right gear at the right time.
Activating the parasympathetic
The most stressful things always catch you blind sighted on a random Thursday afternoon. And it would be naive to assume you can stop stress from arriving, but you can train the body to recover quicker. To move through instead of freeze.
The parasympathetic state is your body’s healing gear. It’s the mode where digestion resumes, hormones regulate, tissue repairs, and the mind feels safe enough to exhale. But in a world that keeps us alert and overstimulated, most of us forget how to access it.
Luckily, your body holds ancient levers:
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A warm bath before bed: especially with magnesium-rich salts, dilates blood vessels, calms muscles, and drops cortisol. The warmth mimics the sun’s descent and invites your system to let go.
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Grounding with bare feet on soil: a daily barefoot walk, or sitting under a tree with your palms in the grass, helps discharge static stress and recalibrates your nervous system through the earth’s subtle electric field.
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Slow, nasal breathing: especially when the exhale is longer than the inhale. Try 4-7-8 breathing or a soft sigh with closed lips. It signals to your vagus nerve that you are no longer under threat.
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Touch: a lingering hug, stroking a pet, or even self-massage with warm oil can activate oxytocin and reduce cortisol. This is primal. We are social mammals. Safety is often felt through skin.
Somatic release
Stress lives not only in your head, but in your posture, jaw, gut, and pelvic floor.
Muscular tension is your body’s way of holding on. If you’re always bracing, shoulders hunched, teeth clenched, belly tight, your body is sending a message of threat, even if you feel "fine."
Somatic practices (body-based) help you listen in.
Notice how animals shake after a threat. A built-in release valve to stop stress from embedding in the body. We need that too. Daily body scans are an incredible starting point: where are you gripping? Can you soften your jaw, belly, or shoulders? Tension often hides where we least expect it. Let yourself shake it out, whether through TRE (trauma release exercises) or simply dancing in your kitchen. Stretch deeply and pair it with a long, audible sigh: your vagus nerve registers that exhale as a signal of safety. Even your posture is a tool: standing tall, chest open, shoulders soft not only reflects confidence but gently shifts your inner chemistry. These are micro-practices, yes, but practiced daily, they become your body’s reminder that the danger has passed.
Trauma & polyvagal theory
Some stress is chronic. Some is stored.
Not all nervous systems reset on their own.
Unprocessed trauma doesn’t just live in memory, it gets etched into posture, breath, immune function, digestion, and mood. It becomes a pattern. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, describes trauma not as a past event, but as a present-day imprint on the body and nervous system. When we can’t process a threat in real time, when we fight or flee internally but the moment freezes, that survival energy gets stuck. It’s why trauma symptoms can linger for years, even decades: because the body remembers.
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, gives us a physiological roadmap. It shows that the nervous system operates more like a ladder than a switch, with three key states:
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Ventral vagal: safe, social, open. This is where healing happens.
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Sympathetic: fight-or-flight. Alert, mobilised, anxious.
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Dorsal vagal: freeze. Numb, disconnected, collapsed.
In trauma, we lose access to the ventral vagal state because the body doesn’t yet feel safe enough to return there.
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Titration: A core concept in somatic experiencing (pioneered by Peter Levine), titration means feeling small pieces of a sensation or memory, then backing off. Little doses of intensity that build your capacity to stay present, without flooding.
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Sound, vibration, rhythm: Humming, chanting, drumming, and singing all activate the vagus nerve. These aren’t new biohacks, they’re ancient healing tools. Communal song, lullabies, mourning chants, humans have always used rhythm to metabolise emotion.
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Somatic release: Bessel van der Kolk writes, “the single most important issue for traumatised people is to find a sense of safety in their own bodies.”
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Relational repair: We are social mammals. Trauma often happens in the context of relationship, and healing often happens through relationship. This is co-regulation: the presence of a calm, attuned other who helps your system downshift. Whether it’s a therapist, a friend, or even a pet, safe connection is medicine.
